


New Perspective (on human norms)

by Ginnn_dryyy



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Cultural Differences, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Awkward Conversations, Benrey learns human norms, Hurt/Comfort, Inappropriate Behavior, Inappropriate touching, Light Angst, M/M, Molestation, NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING DW, Not tagging Gordon and you know why, Serious discussions about consent, adding tags as I go, conversation is key
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:13:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29868975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginnn_dryyy/pseuds/Ginnn_dryyy
Summary: Benrey is stuck in his human form. He is stuck. And suddenly has to deal with human urges. But luckily he has people to teach him ways. Normal human ways to cope with this.
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby & Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	1. Normalcy is normal. Why aren’t I

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [New Perspectives](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29785935) by [energyeye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/energyeye/pseuds/energyeye). 



> DON’T READ IF YOU’RE EASILY TRIGGERED BY MENTIONS OF R*PE  
> AND READ THE ORIGINAL AT YOUR OWN RISK!!  
> You’ve been warned.

PROLOGUE: After reading the fanfiction by energyeye, I was...It made me think. And I got inspired to write a less,,,Horrifying version. But I have to say, despite the...Questionable choice of...representation...I genuinely liked the plot. To sum it up, it’s about Benr(e)y not knowing much about humanity, human decency and our norms/no-go’s. I’ve decided to milder it and maybe even make it a little wholesome. That will take a while though. First will be the less...Nice parts. I’ll jump to it before it gets too long. Comments are welcome!!

It was another evening. The science team was asleep already, as Benrey sat outside on a crate. He liked no-clipping. No-clipping was perfectly normal. Completely normal. Everyone does it on Xen. It’s easier to hunt down prey like that. It’s normal. Tommy said it wasn’t though, so Benrey had to stop. Stop being normal? Yea. No-clipping wasn’t normal for humans. How do they get food though? How do they hunt? Benrey never understood. Tommy always brought packaged stuff. Did he hunt it? Tommy wasn’t human. Tommy is his best friend. Bestest. Mostly because of that. He understood Benrey. He was nice.

Benrey sat outside, on the crate, staring at the millions of white dots on the clear sky. It was so different from Xen. Xen is different. Earth is different. The life forms are different. It made Benrey feel homesick. Benrey felt different. He sang orbs. Orbs of light, intangible. Some are different though. Some are tangible and cause a multitude of effects on creatures. 

Benrey sat outside, on a crate, staring at millions of white dots on the clear sky while singing his mother language. Tommy speaks it, his mother language. Tommy’s mother language wasn’t so different from his. They understood each other’s language. It was like...From what Benrey heard, a Russian and a polish person speaking to each other. They could understand each other’s language. Their language was similar. 

He sang a multitude of colors into the white-speckled sky, adding color into the monochromatic scenery. He sang a melancholic melody. Benrey felt different...he felt weird...His body didn’t just look like a human body, but also acted like one. It made Benrey feel weird. He felt so weird. So...Teal..And Blue, even cinnabar...But the one that made Benrey feel the weirdest, the most different, was rust. It was unbearable, and the rust colored orbs were tangible, heavy, and sticky. It made him feel weird and sticky. Benrey did not like this. 

Benrey was desperate. He felt warm and sticky. Not in a good way. Humans aren’t supposed to be warm and sticky, so why was he? He was wandering down the partially collapsed and ruined corridors of Black mesa. Away from the surface. It was ok. He had his fill of fresh air. It sadly didn’t help this human body he was stuck in. So gross... He missed his old body. His old, normal body. He was a shapeless being. It was normal. He could be anything. 

Why wasn’t he dealing with his problems in his normal form? He tried being normal. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t change back to normal. Stupid humans and their normal radiation levels. The Xen radiation that seeped through the opened portal was barely enough to charge Benrey. Benrey wasn’t normal. Not by human standards anyway. Benrey can normally be whatever he desires. But the not normal amount of Xen radiation he’s receiving is messing with him. It was not normal for Benrey. It made his body all the more human. Emotions, problems,...Desires...It was normal for Benrey, yes, but his body wasn’t. How do humans deal with that? In their normal bodies? Fragile...

So fragile. Not Tommy of course. He wasn’t human, but he was acting normal. By human standards anyway. He was normal. He was taught. He was taught to be normal for years by his adoptive father, the Gman. Benrey had no father. He had Tommy, who was normal. By human standards anyway. 

Benrey wasn’t fond of staying. Whenever he felt drained, he just went back to Xen. He doesn’t like his fragile human body. He went back to Xen to charge and then come back and play Heavenly sword on the ps3 with Tommy. Tommy didn’t need to charge. Unlike Benrey, who has to go back to charge, and deal with all his desires. 

He can’t now. And Gordon is to blame. Came in with a dick slip and without his passport. Stupid dumbass. Gordon Freeman, more like, Goofdon Failman. Yea. He was just about to clock out. To clock out and ask Jeffrem, his friend, not as close as Tommy of course, who works at GameStop, for a free month of ps+. It’s awkward to ask anyone else. It’s awkward to ask Tommy. He already does so much for Benrey. Tommy is nice. And after getting his ps+, he was about to head back to Xen to charge up. But no, he had to stay and follow Gordon. Jeffrem was alright though. He clocked out and left after Benrey said his goodbye to follow Gordon. Jeffrem is a cool guy. Has anger issues, but luckily doesn’t mind Benrey’s not so normal human behavior. By human standards anyway... 

Benrey was pulled out of his thoughts by accidentally stepping on something. Something fragile, but firm. He looked down. A dead Coomer clone. Coomer clones vary from being cybernetic, to actually fully human. Right, Coomer wasn’t human either, and neither was Bubby. But they were raised human. So different, yet so,,,human. Benrey hiccuped a few orbs of teal...

It was normal, right? He saw a movie. A movie of humans being far away and eating other humans. It was normal. Benrey stepped onto the dead body again. It had no cybernetics. Which was normal. The clones vary. Benrey was drooling now.

It was normal, right? 

(Sweet-voice translations:  
Teal - Need meal  
Blue like a Blueberry - Melancholy  
Cinnabar like a brick - homesick  
Rust - lust)


	2. Live laugh love or whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this chapter contains mentions of, and attempted, r-pe. The first one starts at “Right now, Benrey needs to cuddle.” And stops at “and stays awake” The second, at “it’s not like he hurts him” (It’s very short though) and the one that is a little more...bad, starts at “He had an idea” (also really short) I prommy, no harm gets done though!

He was fine. One less thing to worry about. And one more skeleton puppet. Two ostriches with one boulder, or how the saying goes. Benrey isn’t normal. Benrey isn’t human. He knows little of human culture. At least his stomach is full. No need for a nap. Benrey has no need for sleep like humans do. The Xen radiation that seeped through the opened portal was enough to give Benrey some of his normal abilities. Despite that, Tommy said humans don’t have powers like that. Benrey is an apex predator on his planet. He has powers. How come humans are the apex predators? They are so fragile...

Not Tommy though. Tommy isn’t human, like Benrey. But he was taught the human ways. Benrey only had Tommy. 

Tommy was a bad teacher.

Benrey continued his walk through the damaged hallways of Black Mesa. He found many more dead clones. Most had cybernetics. He ate another one. He was hungry. Human bodies are so complicated...Benrey was a shapeless being. It was normal. He could be whatever he wanted to. Tommy said it wasn’t normal, by human standards anyway. Benrey had settled to fit in the first time he met Tommy. He has seen the guards. They must’ve been higher on the food chain than the white coats. Tommy respects them and feels safe with them. He wants Tommy to feel safe. So he became a guard. He ate one. And became one. That’s how he knows how a human body works. 

So fragile...

But now he was stuck. Stuck in that fragile body. So, so fragile. The Xen radiation that seeped through the opened portal gave him enough to be less fragile than a normal human. Normal...Benrey wasn’t normal. Benrey’s clothes were sticky. Sweaty and bloody. They clung to his body. His human body. The bulletproof vest was rubbing against his sensitive human skin. It was gross. A gross feeling. The only good feeling was the lower part of the vest rubbing on his lower parts. What was that? Benrey spit a few orbs of heavy and sticky rust colored sweet-voice. 

Walking was making Benrey’s body even stickier. He decided to no-clip instead. He exited the void next to a crate. The crate was blocking the entrance. Smart. Hide when you’re weak. Vey smart. He approached the others. They were asleep. Tommy was laying on his side, facing the wall. Gordon was sitting against a wall. That looks unhealthy for his neck. Coomer was in a worse position. He looked like a human pretzel. Bubby was on top of Coomer. That looked very uncomfortable. Benrey blew a silent orb of green at the pile. 

He looked at Tommy. So peaceful...He took off his heavy bulletproof vest and dropped it on the floor with a silent thud. His helmet followed quickly. His dress shirt was soaked in sweat and blood. Not all his own blood. He laid down. Close to Tommy. They do that. They cuddle a lot. Right now, Benrey needs to cuddle. Some silent cinnabar leaves him, as he spooned Tommy. He shifted to find a good position. A surprised rust orb escapes. It felt good. What was that?

He did it again, and again. His breath got heavy. It felt so good. Why did nobody tell him that humans can experience such a nice feeling. More rust leaves him. Suddenly, Tommy stirs awake and stiffens. Benrey does not stop. Tommy doesn’t say anything. Benrey finishes, he tries to chase that feeling, but suddenly even this starts feeling uncomfortable, so he stops. He nuzzles closer to Tommy.

Tommy is awake. And stays awake. 

As everyone slowly got up, Tommy finally got the courage to untangle from Benrey’s grip. He pretends that he just woke up. But he was awake. Benrey made a whiny noise. Tommy was comfortable. But he stood up after he didn’t return. 

Over the eventful day, Tommy hadn’t had a single opportunity to confront Benrey about what happened. As they went to sleep, Tommy stayed awake. He wasn’t scared, he was just confused and worried and wanted to talk. So he waited.

Tommy was tossing and turning. Benrey was his best friend. He was supposed to worry about him. Other than him, Benrey had no one. He knew he wasn’t the best teacher, but Benrey rarely listened anyway. Tommy was sure that he was the only one Benrey slightly listened to...Which was not good. Benrey didn’t know much about humans, and it was quite obvious. It’s a miracle that he hadn’t been caught and used for experiments by Black Mesa during his few years of continuous visits. Benrey knew very little for all the time he stayed. Probably because the only people he ever had any real conversations with were Tommy, Coomer, Jeffrem, and occasionally Bubby. And none, except for Tommy, knew that Benrey was an alien somehow. Coomer probably did, but didn’t say anything. Bubby might’ve had a burning suspicion. 

Tommy was startled out of his train of thoughts by a gentle thud of a helmet. He stayed completely still. Now’s the chance- 

He saw the orbs of cinnabar, and now he can’t bring himself to say anything. Tommy feels guilty. So he lets it happen. It’s not like it hurts him..

Benrey cuddles up to Tommy, and starts shifting. Feels good...

Tommy hasn’t slept the whole night this time. And it was visible. He had big bags under his eyes. But it’s ok, Benrey wouldn’t hurt him. He never would. 

“Hey Tommy, are you ok? You seem like you haven’t slept for days man..” Gordon gently put his hand on the taller man’s shoulder. “Huh? Oh I- I’m ok, Mr. Fre- Freeman.” Gordon let him go and Tommy went to grab a soda. Something is definitely not all right. He looked towards where he slept. Benrey stood there, fiddling with his vest as he put it back on. Something is not just not alright,, Whatever’s going on seems downright fishy! But he doesn’t have enough evidence to blame the inhuman guard yet, though he has a suspicion. He didn’t notice he was staring at the other until he locked eyes with Benrey, who just gave him a shit eating grin. It became a staring contest.

Coomer interrupted. “Hello, Go- Ah, young love!” Gordon flushed and turned to Coomer. “This is n- what are- what- No! NO! I hate his guts!” Coomer just smiled in his usual aggressively cheerful demeanor. 

Benrey tilted his head at that. Love? He heard it multiple times. What does it mean? It’s a normal human thing. They live laugh love or whatever. Love...It wasn’t normal for Benrey. Benrey doesn’t love. His species only mated, and then left the young to survive on their own. That’s why he likes Tommy so much. He and Tommy are best friends. Bestest. Tommy saved him from a terrible fate when he was young. He taught him many things. Many things his species could do. Taught him some different ways, but never enough. Tommy was not a very good teacher. And it shows. Benrey barely knows anything about humans. The only normal human here is Gordon. Gordon is normal. Gordon is human.

The science team ventured down the halls of Black Mesa, killing everything in their way. A particularly big beast came along, and everyone was exhausted. They decided to sleep a little earlier. Benrey doesn’t sleep. The Xen radiation that seeped through the opened portal was enough for him to stay restless. His species only needed a few hours of sleep between months of hunting. They all got into their usual positions. Benrey however, didn’t go outside this time. He much rather feel good. So he removed his vest and helmet, and went to lie down next to Tommy. 

He had an idea. What if..what if he removed both of their pants? Would that feel better? Only one way to find out.

Gordon’s eyes were closed, but his ears were focused. He heard a soft thud, followed by a louder one. Must be the guards vest and helmet. He heard a little bit of shuffling. That’s,, still ok. But now he heard the clinking of a belt. Ok, that’s it. Gordon stood up as quickly and silently as he could in his heavy lead armor. His sore body protested, but he couldn’t just let this slide. He went over in silent succession and subconsciously thanked the scientists who gave this thing rubber soles. He dragged the guard by his collar away from Tommy. Benrey made a choked noise. When they were in a side room, Gordon closed the door and let him go. “What. The. Actual. Fuck, man!?” Gordon hissed in a whispered tone. 

Benrey was surprised by the sudden yanking. He didn’t expect that. That was surprising. He saw Tommy shiver as he was being dragged away. When he was let go, Gordon asked something. Gordon huh? He stood up, and brushed off his pants. His belt was still hanging open. What did nerdman say? “Whuh? Hey are..Are you s’posed to be here?” 

Gordon had it with Benrey. His blood was boiling, and he was ready to strangle that bastard. “Cut the shit, you dirty bastard. You know what you did, and I want an explanation or I’m going to fucking shoot you.” He was wildly gesturing with his hands. As he finished, he settled them on his hips in a ‘Disappointed Mother’ stance. 

Benrey could only tilt his head. He spat a silent orb of orange. Did he do something wrong? Why was Gordon so mean? He was just going to test out his idea, and Meanman rudely interrupted him, Rudedon Meanman. He just wants to feel good. Isn’t that normal? Isn’t Benrey supposed to be normal? He instinctively blew a whole round of calm down blue at Gordon. “Calm down? Please and thank you?” Gordon was calm now. Good. Now they could talk. Now Gordon was normal.

(Sweet-voice translation:  
Green like dill - (looks) uncomfortable  
Rust - lust  
Cinnabar like a brick - homesick  
Orange like Mountain Dew fusion - confusion)


	3. It’s a start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although a rough one...

Normalman... calm. Great calm. Very good. They talk. Actually, Gordon talks. Benrey just listens. No. He doesn’t. He’s lost. Pretty..Pretty green. Benrey is lost in Gordon’s emerald green eyes. So pretty. Gordon Prettyman. Does he have a passport for his beauty? He..He wants Gordon to feel good. He wants to feel good with Gordon. Benrey raises a hand and uses his no-clip to clip through the mans armor. Gently stroking his chest.

Gordon was talking. Talking about Benrey’s actions and how wrong they were. Gordon froze when he suddenly felt the others cold and clawed hand on his chest. “B-Benrey! Stop that! Th-That’s exactly- That’s what I’m fucking talking about! You can’t just go and sexually harass-“ Gordon forcefully gripped the other’s wrist and yanked it out of his suit’s chest plate. He gripped his other hand as well and held them up. Benrey looked at Gordon with pure confusion written on his face.

That’s when it hit Gordon harder than a ton of bricks. Benrey is an alien. His expression softened and he released his iron grip on the guard’s wrists. “You..Have no idea what you’re doing..Right?” “Huh?” “Benrey, stop it for once and answer me truthfully. Do you know, that what you’re doing is wrong?” Benrey looked thoughtful for a moment, then shook his head. Gordon let out a breathy laugh. “That makes SO much more sense...What...What do you think you’re doing?” Benrey avoided eye contact and struggled a little to free his hands. He only shrugged. Gordon released his grip, but Benrey fled. And when Gordon says Benrey fled, he meant that he straight up no-clipped through the next wall to who knows where. Gordon will not let this go. He is determined to talk to Benrey.

Benrey was outside again. Sitting on his frequently sat on crate, staring up at the millions of white dots in the cloudy sky. The moon shone brightly. Benrey was spitting a whole lot of green. Two different greens, transparent white, and some pink to blue. What...what is that..no..Benrey knew that couldn’t be normal...He’s not gonna just tell a random (cute) passportless guy about his problems and struggles. He could tell Tommy...Tommy! He will tell Tommy! Tommy is his best friend. Bestest. He’s gonna understand! Has to! He always does! He hiccuped a few orbs of bright yellow and cold white. 

The next morning arrives. The sun rises. Benrey still isn’t used to the short day circles of earth even after his many years of frequent stays. One day on Xen is two earth days and the nights are a whole earth week. Xen is dark. That’s completely normal. That’s why their main communication is the intangible light orbs, Sweet-voice. Benrey thought it was hard to learn English. He might’ve been small, but it was still hard. Still is. He started learning by himself by watching streams on twitch. That’s how he became an epic gamer. He’s glad that Tommy brought him to earth. (Technically it was Tommy’s not normal adoptive father.) Benrey dislikes Tommy’s father. Gman was even weirder than he was. Not poggers. At all. 0/10 on IGN. He was already close to where the team slept last night.

Tommy finally had slept. It was only for about three hours, but it was better than nothing. He might or mightn’t have cried himself to sleep after Benrey tried to...Hurt him...He still couldn’t believe that he tried to hurt him. Tommy is thankful that Gordon stopped him. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if Gordon wouldn’t have stopped him...He doesn’t even want to think about it. He’s just thankful. “M-Mr. Freeman?” “Oh hey, good morning Tommy!” “Morning..H-Hey uh..” “Is everything ok?” “I just...I-I wanted to- to thank you...” Gordon didn’t say anything, only gave him a sad smile and a barely visible nod before he went to talk to Coomer. Tommy sighed..He wants an explanation,,But really, he can’t face Benrey right now..

Benrey no-clipped into the room. Everyone was awake already. There he was, Tommy! Benrey was about to walk to Tommy and ask. He can trust Tommy. Tommy is nice. Best friend Tommy. “Yo Tommy!” Tommy jumped. Whoops, didn’t mean to scare him. Tommy,,,walked away? Benrey walked after him, but when Tommy walked towards Gordon, Benrey stopped. He doesn’t wanna talk when Gordon’s around. Gordon gives Benrey a stern stare. He just shrugs. Yea,,they can talk later. 

It’s ok.

(Sweet-voice translation:  
This time whole sentences!  
Emerald green to pink to blue - Gordon, I love you  
Green like dill to transparent white like caulk - (but I feel) uncomfortable to talk.  
Bright yellow to cold white like snow that glows - Tommy knows!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhh sorry for the short chapter. BUT HEYYYYY it’s finally gonna get uhh,,,They will finally talk! Also, I will promise you, A N G S T and sweet sweet D E N I A L


End file.
